Trygg's Paradox

We know what bothers cats. We know what to do about it. Why do we keep bothering cats?

This is what Trygg and I were discussing early this morning. It hearkens to when we discussed making pulled pork sandwiches and coleslaw using a slow cooker. Also, to Trygg's plan to become a consultant.

Trygg's motto: Find a need and fill it. People need cats. I'm a cat. I fill a need.

That and his admonition: Do you want me to tell you how to sell what you make or how to make what will sell?

"What does this have to do with Trygg's Paradox," I ask?

"I like ham. You know I like ham. People make ham for Easter. You made pork loin."

Trygg is miffed about dinner Sunday. He was really looking forward to it. He paced the floor for an hour. (Better than the five hours for pulled pork sandwiches, still.)

"You made bacon for breakfast. Then, you cut it up and try to get me to eat it by cutting it up into small pieces. This is why people need consultants. To help them to understand their cats. Now, if you'd consulted with me first, I would have suggested ham and eggs for breakfast, then you could have had left-over ham for dinner, then ham sandwiches for a snack later on, and finally, ham and eggs for breakfast again."

"And you would, of course, have ham."

"Consulting fee."

"I see."

Actually, what is see is a pattern. Trygg does not disappoint me. Trygg gets out his graphs and charts. In some ways he is a very cutting edge cat. In other ways, he is very traditional. He did the graphs and charts on 25 column accounting paper instead of on a PowerPoint presentation.

"Now, chicken. You can make fried chicken and have dinner once. However, if you roast a chicken, you can have chicken dinner for several nights. Then, simmer what's left and make chicken broth. Meanwhile, I could share the parts of the chicken you don't like. For example, the wings, the legs, and the thighs. Much more economical. My consulting fee is actually included in the savings. For even more savings."

"Thank you, Trygg"

"You're the one always talking about watching your budget. This is just another way I've come up with to help you."

"I see. Then if I had two cats, I would save twice as much money."

Trygg thinks that one over for a minute. I see him looking through his graphs and charts. I know he doesn't have an answer for that one. And I know what he will do. He will do what he always does. He will either ad lib or stall. He decides to stall.

"Let's discuss this when lunch is over."

"Don't you mean, discuss this over lunch?"

"No, when lunch is over."

Trygg goes over to his lunch tray to eat his dry food. He has dry food in a tray and canned food in a dish. I usually have two kinds of canned food down because Trygg likes a choice. He's not finicky, I'm just considerate. At least that's the way Trygg explained it.

I put the dry food in a small pile on the left side of the tray. Trygg moves some of it to the right side to eat it a little at a time.

"Something for Miss Manners," he says.

I know he has that backwards, but I don't say anything. I think it's important that he tries to cultivate good table manners and I am happy he is thinking along those lines. Still, as we sit having lunch together, I somehow, know what's coming. Trygg eats Kit n Kaboodle. Trygg calls his dry food, kitten kaboodle. This gives him an idea. Here it comes. He looks up from his lunch.

"Let's talk about about "Kitten Theory".

(Kitten theory?)

"If you have a kitten you have a kitten. Two kittens, cute. Three kittens, confusion. Four kitten, chaos. Five kittens, calamity. This is why people should concentrate on two kittens or on one cat at a time."

"The way I have you to concentrate on?"

"Exactly. Now, if someone wants to add a cat, start with two kittens. They're cute. Wait until they get a little older, then add two more kittens. Sort of like folding eggs into a batter. Wait until the first two are incorporated into the family before adding another two."

"From what you've said, I'm guessing that we should adopt two kittens."

Trygg's thinking this one over.

"I'll have to do more research. We'll schedule another meeting. I'll be in touch."

Trygg goes off to lick himself clean. I go in to wash up. Why were we having lunch at six o'clock in the morning? Because we had breakfast at three o'clock in the morning. But that is a topic for another day.

Even the cat winks =^.~=

Regards,

Slim


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